Thursday, December 2, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Today is one of my favorite days. Grandma didn't even have to drag me out of bed for school this morning. I couldn't wait to get up. It was orange, black and white day at school. We didn't have to wear our uniforms even! I put on this cool black sweater dress. I tied my Brownies scarf around my neck: it's white with orange maple leaves. I wore my black tights with a hole in them and every time I bent my knee, a kind of ladder climbed higher and higher up my leg. I looked Goth but very cool!
Then Grandma told me Aunt Stacey and Uncle Tom had carved a pumpkin last night. I was a bit grumbly with them for that. I wanted to carve the pumpkin with them! But when I saw it, I stopped being mad. It was SO good. That's it at the top of this blog. It's "Avatar"! How cool is that?
Grandma made me promise not to eat too much candy at school today. She gave me soup in a thermos and some crackers and said I have to eat them first. She's afraid I'll be all 'sugared up" tonight 'cause I'm going to a Hallowe'en party and dance at our local rec center tonight. Because I'm now a real Brownie, I'm supposed to keep my promises. But it's kinda hard to promise not to eat too much candy at Hallowe'en.
I asked her what she's giving me for Hallowe'en. She said "How's an apple and a toothbrush?" Gees Grandma, you're no fun at all!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I had a great sleep last night. I even smiled at grandma when she woke me up for school. I smiled even more when Grandma made me blueberry waffles for breakfast. She says it's junk food but I like it. So why is it junk?
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Well I'm back at school now. Grandma says I've really changed. She doesn't get it. She says I'm not giving her "atttitude". She was so happy with me today she bought me some carrot cake when we were leaving the library. That was weird for grandma as she doesn't like me eating anything with sugar in it. I think she's the one who's changed!
But I think I've changed too. I think it's because I'm a big Grade 3-er now. I'm supposed to be more "mature" right? I even run better: we had gym day on Monday and I ran so fast I was faster than all the boys. Grandma said I should keep that up. She says it's good to be able to outrun the boys, especially when I'm older. She says they'll be chasing me. I told her I'd be so hot then. She burst out laughing. I think "hot" meant something to her that I didn't mean but I think I get it. See, I must be getting more mature.
Today at the library, I read to Grandma. She was shocked. She said even my reading has improved. She must have told me 3 times how different I am now. The story was really funny. This boy goes to buy his granddad a present. But everything he buys for his grand-dad, he wants for himself, like a candy-apple. Grandma kept laughing. She said the boy was just like me when I tell her to buy something for herself that I like. I got that! See, I am more mature.
Just before we left the library, Grandma needed to go to the toilet. So did I. I told Grandma my pee smelled like mushrooms. She burst out laughing again. I'm glad I can make grandma laugh. So she asked me if I'd been eating mushrooms. I told her no. I'd eaten chicken last night. So she asked me if my pee ever smells like other things. I told her it sometimes smells like chicken. She asked what makes it smell like chicken? I told her it smells like chicken when I eat hamburger.
My best friend at school's mother is also on Facebook. She posted a note tonight saying my best friend has a rash on her chest. She wondered if it could be chicken pox. My best friend's little sister said it couldn't be because she'd seen the chicken! Grandma said she wished I'd said that because that's the kind of thing the little blogger says.
I have to ask her if her pee smells like mushrooms. If it does, I may be in trouble. I'm itchy just thinking about it!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Grandma woke me up in a hurry this morning. I thought it was because today is "excursion" day at summer camp. But no. Grandma was busting to show me a video from last night's "America's Got Talent". She said there was a 10-year-old singer on there that blew her away and I just had to see her. I asked her if she sings Lady Gaga songs 'cause I like singing Lady Gaga. She said "No, not Lady Gaga ... she sings opera!"
OPERA?! What the ... ?! You mean that boring stuff Poppy listens to on his old people's classic station? I can't stand that stuff!
Grandma said "Just sit here and watch, okay?"
So I did. OMG! I couldn't believe my ears. They were listening and boy, were they paying attention this time!
"What's her name Grandma?" I asked when she finished.
"Jackie Evancho. So what do you think?"
I almost didn't know what to say. Usually I say too much and no-one can shut me up. But this time, all I could say was "WOW!" I didn't even say what I usually do when I hear a good singer ... like ... "I can do that!" I just said "WOW!" So grandma played me one of her other video clips. It was done when Jackie was 8.
"That's a cool song Grandma. What's it called?"
"Ave Maria" said Grandma.
"That should get played on the radio" I told Grandma.
She laughed. She said, "Before or after Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Keshia and the rest?"
"What do you mean Grandma?"
"I mean, you'll never hear that on popular radio today. That song is hundreds of years old. It's a classic!"
"Well I don't care!" I said to her. "It's a cool song ... and I hope Jackie wins America's Got Talent. She should go to Vegas!"
Grandma sighed. "Yes, she should win but in a way, I hope she doesn't. She's way too good for Vegas. She's destined for much bigger stages all over the world".
"I see" I said ... but I didn't really see. All I know is Jackie's amazing and I wish I could sing like that even if it is opera.
Grandma told me to hurry up and go brush my teeth. In the bathroom, with a mouthful of toothpaste, I tried to sing like Jackie. Toothpaste went everywhere. Grandma was laughing.
"You might try singing without a brush and toothpaste in your mouth Maddy! I guess you're really impressed with Jackie Evancho eh?"
"Yes I am and when I get home, I want to watch more videos of her singing. Can we put one up in my blog Grandma?"
"You bet!" she said. "It's so nice to see young kids like you enjoying good music and good singers! Heaven knows there's little enough of that on radio anymore!"
So here it is: Jackie's performance on AMERICA'S GOT TALENT last night. And I still think she should win! Go Jackie Go!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
So here's me and grandma out for a little walk the other night. We wanted to check out the new "Once upon a Child" shop that opened where Dollarama closed down. Grandma said they have books, games and lots of clothes that were, well, once upon a child. But when we got there, they had just closed. I was cranky about that. All the other shops, like Zellers, didn't close for another hour!
But grandma said "Never mind. I'll take you another time. Let's walk to the bank machine. I need some money anyway".
Well that was fine with me: if grandma gets out money, maybe she'll buy me something. Good plan, grandma!
So we're walking along. I'm thinking about what Grandma could buy me and she's yapping on about how mummy can sell my old clothes to "Once upon a child". Suddenly grandma stops and looks at me.
"Are you listening to me Maddy? I asked you a question" she says.
"Oh sorry Grandma. What did you ask?"
"Well if you were listening, you'd know!" said Grandma. She was grumpy. I tried to explain:
"Grandma, I WAS listening but my ears weren't paying attention!"
Grandma burst out laughing. I laughed too but I didn't know what was funny. She said: "Wow Maddy! What an incredible statement you just made!"
"I did? What grandma? What? What did I say?" I couldn't remember already. She said:
"Maddy, that's brilliant: 'you were listening but your ears weren't paying attention.' Boy I think of myself as a writer but I've never come up with something as clever as that!"
Well I was happy I'd made her happy. Maybe now she'd buy me an ice-cream or something. But before I could ask, Grandma started to go on and on about how that statement applied to Poppy who's deaf but won't admit it. Or maybe he's listening but his ears aren't paying attention. Or maybe he's not listening but his ears are paying attention.
She said something about that's a good line for politicians etc etc and I tried to listen this time but my ears were getting really tired of paying attention. So this time I stopped. Grandma said "What?"
I said "Grandma, could you please stop talking so much. I want to ask you something ... "
"Oh, okay. What?"
"Since you think I was so brilliant and incredible and all those things, could you please buy me something with that money you're getting out?"
Grandma looked at me and smiled. "I'm not sure I heard that Maddy. I was listening but when it comes to spending money, my ears don't pay attention!"
Hmmm. Looks like what I said applies to Poppy, politicians AND grandmas!
Oh, she bought me that ice-cream.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Gosh it's good to be on summer holidays! The first week, Grandma had me in the "WOW" camp at a big kid's college down the road. It was way cool! We did crafts and played games. We even had a talent show called "Camper's Got Talent". I've got talent in singing says my grandma. So I sang Lady Gaga. The kids liked it. I think I was pretty good too.
But last week was even better! Mommy and I went camping! Mommy's friend and her son went with us. We stayed in a trailer in the woods. We had lots of company: mosquitoes, horse flies, black flies! I got bitten all over!
And there were snapping turtles in the lake but I didn't get snapped once! Mommy made sure I stayed away from them.
We did things I've never done before, like roasting marshmallows over the fire. That was SO neat!
I had a bit of trouble with going to the bathroom. Mommy said we couldn't just "go bush" as it might bring the bears. So each day we went into town and used the public toilets. But the problem for me with that is that I didn't always want to do a job when we were in town. But as soon as I got back, I needed to go. Mommy got mad at me for that but I couldn't help it. I told mommy my body doesn't work on demand! Does yours?
Here's another thing that was different: we slept on beds that turned into tables when we were up. It was weird: sleeping in them one minute and eating off them later. I'm not allowed to eat in my bed but this was kinda like eating in bed, but not really.
Mommy took me down to the dock. I was backing up and suddenly ... splash .. I fell into the water! Good thing I can swim but it wasn't deep anyway. After that, we went and jumped off the dock lots of times. Mommy jumped too. I think she had even more fun that I did doing that!
Mommy loved it up there so much she didn't want to come home. She told Grandma she wants to go back. She'll even put up with the bugs. She's promised to take me up there again. I'm going to make sure she does.
Grandma always says the best things don't have to cost a lot of money. My grandma's right. This was the best. I can't wait till we do it again!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Today was report card day. Grandma picked me up from school. She couldn't even wait to get home to read it! She stood there in the middle of the sidewalk reading every word. She was making me really nervous. She kept looking for the part where it says I made it into Grade 3 but couldn't find it. Then she made me feel even worse by commenting on my marks!
"What's this "C" in math, Maddy?" she asked me. "I thought math was your best subject!"
"Er Maddy ... you got a "C" in writing too!"
I looked at the ground.
"I can't see if you've made it or not ... " she said. She was getting frust-er-ated.
I was dying. I was so afraid she say I'd have to stay in Grade 2 for another year!
Suddenly she brightened up. "Here it is!" said Grandma. "You've made it!"
"YAY!! YAY" I screamed and screamed. I was so happy I wanted to tell everyone. "I PASSED! I PASSED" I yelled. There was no-one around to hear me except Grandma. So for once she didn't tell me to shush up and calm down.
"You really had me worried for a minute there, Grandma! You shouldn't do that!" I told her. She was still looking at that darn report card. I didn't want to know any more.
"Oh what's this?" she said.
I didn't like the sound of that ...
"What? WHAT? WHAT NOW Grandma?" I asked her.
"Well you got an A- in acting and drama ..." she said. She was laughing.
"Something wrong with that, Grandma?" I asked her.
"No not at all Maddy. But it just proves what I always say about you ... "
"You're a little drama queen!" Grandma laughed.
Now, I'm not sure if Grandma was saying something good or bad about me! Adults! Sheesh! So confusing sometimes!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Today I told Grandma about Mrs. God. I was surprised she'd never heard of her.
She said "Who's she?" I looked at her funny. I thought Grandma knew everything!
"Well she's God's wife, silly Grandma!"
"Oh ... of course... " said Grandma. "But how come I haven't heard of her before now Maddy?"
"Well she's just not as popular as God" I told her.
"Then how do you know she's there at all?" asked Grandma.
I looked at her funny again. "What's wrong with you Grandma?" I said. She was making me frustrated! I sighed and explained:
"There has to be a Mrs. God, Grandma. or where did we all come from for heaven's sake! God and Mrs. God had to have children, right?"
Now Grandma looked at me funny, like she didn't know what to say. So she changed the subject a bit. She asked me this:
"How come if God's wife is Mrs. God that we don't call God "Mr. God"?
I thought for a moment and told her "Well, God's just ... God."
"Hmmm... " said Grandma. "Then why don't we just call Uncle Tom 'BILLINGS' instead of Mr. Billings?"
"Well that kinda sounds funny Grandma. Like you can't just say BILLINGS!"
"Why not? asked Grandma.
She was making me frustrated again. I didn't want to tell her I didn't really know why God was just God and Mrs. God was Mrs. God. After all, I'm only 7 1/2. She's 64 and it looks like she doesn't know the answer either or she wouldn't be asking me, right?!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Sometimes I get so confused when adults say things. Like this morning: grandma woke me up for school. I was still half asleep when she said something about me being "in poo". I frowned. What did she mean I was "in poo". I hadn't pooed in my sleep! The only poo that I could think of was when I stepped in dog poo a couple of days ago. Was she talking about that?
"No no ... nothing like that!" said Grandma. She was talking about yesterday when I got into trouble with mommy. Well why didn't she just say I was "in trouble" instead of saying I was "in poo!" Sheesh!
Then there's Poppy. When the whole family came over for a barbeque last week, I piled my plate sky-high. Mommy had made delicious planked salmon ... one of my favourites. And she made these big yummy stuffed portobello mushrooms. And there was steak too.
Well I tried to eat it all but couldn't. That's when Poppy said to me "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach Maddy!" I looked at him disgusted-like. Anyone knows my eyes aren't bigger than my stomach!! I lifted my t-shirt and said "Look Poppy! My stomach's THIS BIG!" He smiled. Then I put my face right close to his and said: "Now look at my eyes ... ! See how much smaller they are than my stomach?" Silly Poppy. I think he needs glasses as well as a hearing aid!
And even Auntie Stacey and Uncle Tom are confusing. You'd think since they're not as old as Grandma and Poppy they'd talk more like kids do. But oh no! When I tried to wear a new pair of pants that were too big for my skinny waist, Uncle Tom said "Maddy needs braces for those". I just looked at him like "Come on Uncle Tom! Get with it. The only place I need braces is on my teeth ... SEE!!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
It was Mommy's 30th birthday last week so we took her out for dinner. She kept saying she's staying 29. I didn't get that. I'm 7 and want to be 8 or 9 or 13. So why does mommy want to stay 29?
Grandma got her a really funny card from all of us. You open it up and it plays a song. It talked about finding wrinkles and gray hair. I don't see any gray hairs on mommy yet! It also said something about being in bed at 10 instead of dawn and chasing kids off the lawn. I don't want mom to chase my friends off the lawn. Then the last line was something about drinking wine and thinking you're still 29. I guess that's where mom got the idea of staying 29?
So anyway, we took mom out for a buffet dinner. I couldn't remember the name of the place we were going. I kept asking grandma all afternoon when we were going to the lemon. She just looked confused and didn't answer me. I figured she's going deaf like Poppy. But finally we drove up and parked. I said "Where's the Lemon?" Suddenly everyone starting laughing at me. Aunt Stacy said "You mean THE MANDARIN!" Well all I remembered was the restaurant was named after a fruit! Why do people name restaurants after fruits!
I ate so much I nearly burst! I kept going up and getting more. There was sushi ... I took 8 pieces. And pizza. And chicken. And garlic bread. Everyone kept looking at me and saying things like "where is she putting it?" or "wonder when she's going to puke?" I told them I was doing just fine.
Then I hit the dessert table. Mommy said I could only have one thing. So I took ice-cream. When I got back I showed mommy I'd only got one thing, just like she said. But I had 4 flavours. Everyone rolled their eyes and watched me eat it. I got it down fine but my tummy was starting to hurt.
Then the people who serve up came to mommy and sang "Happy Birthday". She looked so embarrassed. I don't know why. I like it when everyone sings "Happy Birthday" to me.
So they also gave mommy a little plate. It had a tiny square of carrot cake with one candle. Guess they couldn't fit 30 candles on it. It also had 2 pieces of jello on it. One was green; the other was red. Mommy didn't want any of it.
So Poppy took the carrot cake and put it in his mouth in one go. Grandma took the green jello and put it in her mouth in one go. No-one wanted the red jello. It was the biggest piece. I said "I'll have it!" and before anyone could say "NO!" I popped it in my mouth in one go.
Suddenly, I couldn't move my mouth. My tongue wouldn't move around the jello. My teeth couldn't bite it. The jello was just stuck there. It wouldn't go down and they all told me not to spit it up. I felt hot. I couldn't swallow. I wanted to puke. Uncle Tom held a plate under my chin. Everyone was silent. They were all watching me. I moved my mouth a bit; I nearly gagged. I tried to swallow again. It didn't want to down. I could feel myself gagging but no way was I going to puke. Suddenly I swallowed hard and down it went. Phew!
Everyone started laughing but they were still watching to see if I'd chuck. No way. Not me! I showed them, didn't I? But just between you and me, I sure wanted to puke. I never knew it could be that hard to eat jello. Did you?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
When Grandma picks me up from school, she always asks "How was your day?" Well yesterday I didn't even let her ask. As soon as I saw her, l looked her in the eye and shouted "DON'T ASK ME HOW MY DAY WAS TODAY!".
So what did she do? She said "Oh, did you have a bad day?" That's after I told her not to ask me! See, she just had to ask me, didn't she! Well it would be rude not to answer, so I told her "YES, I HAD A HORRIBLE DAY!"
"Why? Something go wrong?"
"THE KIDS WERE REAL MEAN TO ME!"
"Oh. Why? Did you do or say something you shouldn't?"
Grandmas have a way of getting stuff out of you even when you don't want to talk about it don't they!
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I WAS JUST ... singing..."
"Singing? What, the kids don't like your singing?"
I scrunched up my face and put on my mean kids voice to show her how they sounded: "MADISON ... STOP SHINGING!!" That's what they told me.
Grandma's so nice. She said "That's too bad. I like your singing. What were you singing?"
I had to think a bit. "Wait Grandma ... I can't remember the name of the song ... oh, it's the one that goes ""Rah Rah a ah ah, roma roma-ma, Ga-ga, ooh la la ... want your bad romance ..."
Grandma said "Oh my goodness ... you were singing Lady Gaga in class?"
"Yes. What's wrong with that?"
"Well nothing I guess. Not sure the teacher would approve though..."
"But I love Lady Gaga. I just couldn't stop singing it over and over! Sammy likes her too. So does Gabby ... "
Grandma sighed. "Well maybe when you sing it over and over it starts to irritate people to hear the same thing again and again. You did that 2 weeks ago and I couldn't get "Bad Romance" out of my head either. Drove me nuts! You need to stop when someone asks you to ... "
I thought about that but I like the song. It was stuck in my head. Grandma started the car and I started singing: "Rah Rah a ah ah, roma roma-ma, Ga-ga, ooh la la ... want your bad romance ... Rah Rah a ah ah, roma roma-ma, Ga-ga, ooh la la ... want your bad romance ... Rah Rah a ah ah, roma roma-ma, Ga-ga, ooh la la ... want your bad romance ... "
Grandma screamed: "MADISON STOP IT!!
"But you said you like my singing Grandma?"
"Yes, but you'll get that song stuck in my head again and I just got rid of it!"
I told Lady Gaga to stop singing in my head but she wouldn't listen to me. I tried so hard to keep her in my head but she jumped into my mouth again. It was like trying not to sneeze: you can't stop it ...
Friday, January 15, 2010
This morning at breakfast, grandma showed me pictures of the earthquake in Haiti. I felt so sad! There was a little girl with blood and bandages on her. The little boy in the photo here is okay:
I can't believe there might be children under there.
When I was eating breakfast yesterday, I left my crusts on my plate. Grandma looked cranky. She said "Why aren't you eating your crusts?" I said "I don't know. They're too hard?" Grandma said "There are children in Haiti with nothing to eat Madison! If they saw your crusts, they'd be fighting to get them like sea-gulls on a beach!" Now that made me feel really bad.
Did you see how she called me "MADISON" that time?
Hi! This is Maddy. That's short for Madison. Madison is a boy's name but I'm a girl. It's also a last name, like Taylor. So I'm like Taylor Swift ... my name is a last name and a boy's name. Isn't that cool? There's only one problem: I'm not famous like Taylor Swift!
Grandma says Maddy is a good name for me even if it is a boy's name because sometimes I just drive her mad. Well the way I see it, her name should be Maddy, don't you think? She's the one getting maddy!
Usually, when mommy or grandma or my teacher calls me Maddy, I know things are good. But when they call me "MADISON" it's time to run and hide. I just know I'm in trouble!